Boyfriend doesn’t want me to sleep in panties

Dear Pastor,

I am a 21-year-old girl and I am living with my boyfriend. We are planning to get married. I love this man very much, but he is very controlling.

I left my mother's home because of my stepfather, who was always trying to go to bed with me. I complained to my mother and she believed me. My mother is not well, so she told me that if my boyfriend and I can find a place, then I can go and live with him.

I was very surprised when my mother said that to me. When she said it to me, she broke down and cried. My mother then confided in me that she has not been able to have sex with my stepfather because of a physical problem that she was having. She told my stepfather one day that she would rather him go out and have sex with women on the road than for him to have sex with me.

He did not say a word. So, she believed what I was saying to her about him. I can swear that I never allowed my stepfather the opportunity to go to bed with me.

Once I was passing him and he pinched me on my bottom. I stopped and told him that if he did that again, I would stab him. My mother asked him why he had to do that and he said I was lying on him, However, my mother knew I was speaking the truth.

At present, I am pregnant. If I did not leave home I would not be pregnant. My boyfriend always had protection with him, but he slipped up when we started to live together and he got me pregnant.

My boyfriend does not want me to sleep in underwear. His excuse is that what I have between my legs needs to breathe. So, sometimes I put a pillow between my legs, but I have made a mess of the pillows occasionally when my period comes down on me suddenly. When I say it to my boyfriend, he said that if I had on underwear, the sheets would have been messed up, so I should not complain.

I have a good man in my life, but he can be very disgusting at times. He likes to have his own way. Sometimes when I am expecting my period, I sleep in shorts to protect the sheets. And even then, my boyfriend fusses with me. I would like him to stop the fussing.

I am wondering whether you would meet with us and counsel us because we would like you to officiate at our wedding.

A.

Dear A.,

Your boyfriend is insisting that you go panty-less when you are going to bed and he told you his reason. Evidently, he has done some research on the matter. It is indeed a good reason why a woman should not always wear panties when going to bed at nights.

Some men have selfish reasons for insisting why their women should not wear panties, but I won't go into that.

There was a lady who used to always call me on the ' Dear Pastor Show'. She has said time and time again that she does not wear panties at nights. She cuddles up to her husband and that keeps her warm enough. I am sure many listeners know who I am referring to.

You and boyfriend are old enough to discuss this matter and to compromise.

I will be very happy to officiate at your wedding whenever you are ready. Please call the office and make an appointment to meet with us (876) 929-1667 or (876) 877-1009.

Pastor