I enjoy my fiancé more than my ex-wife

Dear Pastor,

My girlfriend and I are in our 40s. We have been spending lots of time together. We have gone on vacation together. When we go abroad, we do not like to stay with relatives or friends. We prefer to stay in hotels.

Some of our relatives think that we are wasting money and have tried to encourage us to stay with them. But we love our privacy and we prefer to sleep as late as we wish, or get up early if there is somewhere special that we would like to visit.

We save money to have vacations.

My fiance and I are not yet ready to remarry. But our children think that it is time for us to do so. I told them that they would have to pay for everything and they are not willing to do so. And so we do not take them on at all. I know that there are benefits why we should get married, but we are not ready.

Both of us are in good jobs and we are not in debt. We are not interested in having more children. She has two from her previous relationship and I have one. We are both Christians.

I promise my mother, who is in her 70s, that we will get married before she dies. My father is dead, but my fiances' parents are alive. I have a good relationship with my previous wife. She does not have a good relationship with her previous husband. I think he hates my guts because he believes that I had an affair with his wife; but I didn't.

We were just good friends and there is where it stopped. But he didn't believe that. I never saw this woman's nakedness until after we became friends. I enjoy this woman more than I enjoy my previous wife.

Do you think I have committed a sin?

S.

Dear S.,

You are not going to get me to commit myself by telling you whether or not I believe that you have committed a sin. I do not know if you have told me the whole truth, but I would not judge you either.

You and this woman have been living together. Both of you are happy. If she is not pressuring you to remarry and you are not ready, it is not for me to tell you what to do.

Your children want to see a change in the relationship that this woman and yourself are having.

I hope that not far from now, you may see the need why both of you should get married. I leave it there and wish the both of you well.

Pastor