Jamaica-born ICE agent seeks therapy - Admits that job started taking an emotional toll

A Jamaica-born US Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) officer says years of working in federal investigations led him to seek therapy after the job began affecting him beyond the workplace.

The 38-year-old is part of Homeland Security Investigations (HSI), the agency's investigative arm. He migrated to the US as a child and joined ICE at age 25. He said his decision to pursue the role was driven by stability and opportunity.

"At 25, you're thinking about building a life kinda fresh from college," he said. "A federal job, benefits, structure - it felt like the right move at the time." He said that early in his career, "Everything was very black and white".

"You're investigating cases, focusing on the facts. You don't really personalise it," he said.

In recent months, immigration enforcement across the US has intensified, with federal authorities carrying out coordinated operations in homes, workplaces and public spaces. While HSI agents focus primarily on building criminal cases, their work can intersect with enforcement actions where individuals are detained or taken into custody.

Over time, the officer said the nature of that work began to affect him in ways he did not immediately recognise.

"I started noticing I was more distant. Not just at work but in my personal life too," he said.

"Things that should've bothered me, I wasn't really responding to. At first, I thought that was just part of being disciplined."

The officer said the turning point was a series of experiences that stayed with him. He recalled one early-morning operation linked to an investigation.

"It was just after 5 a.m. and I can't share much details but there was a child holding onto his father crying and asking where he was going," he told THE WEEKEND STAR. "That's the nature of those operations. Everyone knows their role and you carry it out."

But the moment lingered afterward.

"Later, you start to think about it differently," he said. "Because you're not just seeing it as a case anymore, you're seeing the people in it."

As those experiences accumulated, he said he began to realise the job was following him home.

"Coming from an immigrant background, you grow up understanding struggle a certain way," he said. "So when you're in situations like that, it doesn't always feel distant. It feels too familiar."

It was that growing awareness, he said, that pushed him to seek help. He said therapy helped him confront how much he had been suppressing, but the decision to seek help was not an easy one.

"Where I'm from, especially as a man, you're not really encouraged to talk about things like that," he said. "You're expected to deal with it, move on, and keep going." He insisted that no one pushed him to get help.

"I had to reach that point where I realised I couldn't just keep handling things the same way."

Reflecting on that choice, he said it changed how he views mental health, particularly among men.

"I used to think therapy wasn't something I needed," he admitted. "But now I see it differently. Sometimes you need a space to actually process what you're dealing with."

He added that in a job like his, ignoring those emotions can have long-term effects.

"If you keep pushing everything down, it builds up," he said. "And eventually, it catches up with you."

According to the officer, not all experience the job in the same way. He said some colleagues are able to detach from their work more easily.

"For them, it's just part of the job, and they leave it there," he said. Despite the emotional challenges, he said leaving the job is not a simple decision.

"People think you can just quit," he said. "But you've built your life around it. It's not that easy to walk away."

"Starting over isn't something you take lightly," he said. The officer said therapy has changed how he views the job, even as he continues to carry out his duties.

"Now I'm more aware of what comes with it."