Girl, you better can cook

Dear Pastor,

I am 18 years old and I have a boyfriend. We have been friends since I was 16. 

My parents know about him. My father works with his father and my father loves him. His father allowed me to work in his business place from I was 16, and that is how I started to deal with his son. I am granted special privileges when I work in the office. I can type very well, so my boyfriend’s father prefers when I type. There are confidential things that he wants me to do for him instead of his secretary.

My boyfriend's father bought him a car in December and he warned him not to run up and down with other girls. I think my boyfriend is not fair. I have to report to him wherever I am going, but he does not always want to tell me where he is going. When I complain to his father, he tells me that is how men are, but I should not let that bother me.

I am learning to cook, so I am going to classes this summer. I would like to become a chef in addition to becoming a nurse. My boyfriend says I can do whatever I want. I will be going to school in the evenings to learn how to cook different dishes. I do not just want to know how to cook Jamaican dishes and that is why I have to go to school.

I am very slim, so I am hoping to put on some weight as I learn to cook. Do you think anything is wrong for a girl to want to become a chef?

E

Dear E,

It is a fact that most Jamaican men want girls who can cook. Some girls cannot cook, but their men teach them how. 

A girl does not become a good cook overnight; it takes time. Nothing is wrong if a man is dating a girl who cannot cook, but she should learn. You don’t have to become a chef, but if that is your desire, do not let anybody discourage you.

Pastor