She won’t leave me alone even after a ‘jacket’

Dear Pastor,

For a long time I wanted to write to you, but I am not very good at reading and writing.

But I am communicating today with you because a good friend of mine is putting my words down on paper to you. This friend and I grew up together and at one time we were neighbours; however, his parents moved out of the community and they took him with them. So he spent many years in America, but he has kept in touch with me by phone. He is a wonderful friend.

When I was in my 20s, I had a girlfriend who claimed that I got her pregnant. I did not believe her because I was told that she had another man. Anyway, I told my father, who asked me if I had sex with her and I told him yes. He said that I should own the child, so I obeyed him and took on the responsibility of supporting the child.

But as the child grew, he didn't look like me or anybody in my family. When he was three years old, my father had to agree with me that he had doubts about this child.

One day, this child's mother told me that she discovered that she made a mistake by giving this child to me, because she ran into her child's real father in a market. When they traced everything, like when we had sex and when she had sex with the other guy, the child could not be mine. So I stopped giving her money and the guy took over supporting the child.

This guy lives in one of the islands. But when this woman needs financial help she finds me, and she is quick to take off her clothes whenever she visits. I don't even have to ask her for sex, she expects us to have it. The child's father is married, but his mother is not married.

Pastor, I am living alone, but I want to get married. This woman told me that the only time she has sex is when we meet. I don't know if I can believe her, because she looks good. A couple of months ago, I gave her $40,000 out of my savings.

I am a hard saver. I asked her how come she doesn't have any man and she said the only man she can trust is me. I don't know what to do. I am getting up in age and I would like somebody to take care of me. I don't want to continue to live by myself, but at the same time, I don't know if I can trust this woman.

She told me that she explained everything to her son. Now a grown man, he told her that she and I should not have broken up because he prefers to have me as his father, rather than his biological father. So I am writing you for your advice.

This young man has done very well. Pastor, please tell me what to do. One of the reasons why I never got married is because it is hard for me to believe a woman after the experience I had with this woman. I know you will understand.

H.

Dear H.,

You have not said whether you love this woman. You continue to be kind to her, so I believe that you have some feelings for her.

Not every woman can get $40,000 from a man. No wonder she is quite willing to take off her clothes when she visits you. So I must ask you, do you love this woman? Are you willing to put the past behind you and start over with her? She told you that she doesn't go to bed with other men, so I am assuming that she is trying to tell you that you are special. Do you believe her? Do you have other children? If you do, you should discuss your situation with them. But of course, the decision as to whether you should get married or not is yours to make.

A woman can tell a man anything she wants to make him feel that he is special. So while it is not right for me to judge her, if I were you, I would not be quick to accept what she told you she does not do. Yep! It is not easy to trust women. I have said many times that men are liars, but women are liars, too.

Thanks to your friend for putting this letter together to me. You may call me at 876-877-1009 if you would like to talk to me further on this matter.

Pastor