Distance and temptation caused me to cheat

Dear Pastor,

I am a 26-year-old woman and the mother of one child.

My child's father is living in the United States of America. He made me a promise when he was leaving that he would come back and marry me.

He has been there for two and a half years. I was faithful to him for the first year because he used to call me frequently, and we used to spend a long time on the phone. We got into the habit of having phone sex. He told me that having phone sex with me would keep him out of problem.

I got myself into trouble about a year ago. I met one of my school friends and I gave him my phone number. That was the biggest mistake I made since my child's father was away.

This guy kept calling me until I agreed to go out with him. When I went out with him, I told him that we could not have an intimate relationship because I have a man, and we have a child together. He told me that he respected that. However, it wasn't long after that he called me again and wanted to go out of town with me. He said he needed company. I asked him whether we are going to come back early and he said yes. However, we did not get back until midnight. My mother was babysitting for me.

My child's father called me and was very upset, because he was trying to reach me and could not. I lied to him, but he did not believe me. I eventually admitted that I went out to rural Jamaica with a friend and got back late.

To cut a long story, Pastor, I visited this man at his house on another day, and we had sex. I then got a call from my child's father saying that he was coming to Jamaica. When he came, he pressured me to tell him whether I was faithful and I told him yes.

He asked why I could not look him in the eyes and say that to him. This man did not believe me. He said my eyes gave me away.

Somehow, I convinced him that I was speaking the truth, and he left. But now I am closer to this guy than ever before and I am growing to love him. We have been going to bed regularly.

I must tell you the truth; I do not know what to do. So, I am asking you for your advice.

D.

Dear D.,

I must ask you which of these guys you love more; is it the guy who is presently abroad, or the one who is here in Jamaica? With whom do you believe you will have a better future? Do you believe that you can stay away from this young man that you have got involved with?

This is a decision that you must make. I believe that you have a brighter future with your child's father. Tell the man in Jamaica that you have made a mistake by going with him, but you will not do so any more. If he continues to call you, you may block his number.

Make sure you don't go anywhere with this man again.

I wish you well.

Pastor