I’m a bad girl turned church woman

Dear Pastor,

This is the first time I am writing to you, but I read your column often. It was my boyfriend who introduced me to your column.

I don't always agree with you, but most times you are on target. I grew up with both of my parents and I had a good life with them. They were very strict, and I look back now and am glad that they were because my sister and I got out of control when we were in our early teens. My sister did not know how to say no to boys and she was older, so she dragged me along with her. I went with her because whatever money they gave to her, she shared some with me.

I lost my virginity at an early age. At one time, my sister and I shared the same boyfriend, but she cursed the boy when she became aware that he was playing with me also. By that time, I had given myself over to him and I told my sister the truth.

I have never told my husband that part of my life, but I told him that I was a ghetto girl. I did not have life very easy and that men took advantage of me.

Today, my sister and I are singing on the church choir and we are both married. We continue to be very close. In fact, my sister's husband is the pastor of the church we attend. Whenever I give my testimony at church, people come up to me and tell me that I am called to be a missionary. But I don't feel that way, and my brother-in-law told me that I should not allow anybody to push me into missionary work because it is tough work. I know it is tough because I see how hard my sister has to work to keep up with her husband and to keep the ministry going.

Sometimes we say that we would open another branch in Jamaica, but my husband is not interested and he would not give up his job to live on poor people's offering. I am doing some online studies. I would like to get a bachelor's degree in theology so that I could help women who are in my age group in the church. Thank you for reading my letter. You are doing a fine job. Keep it up. We plan to visit your church whenever we come to Jamaica.

Y.S.

Dear Y.S.,

I am glad that your sister and you did not continue to be wild, so to speak, when you were in your teens.

People go through phases in life and evidently your sister and yourself had become rebellious for a little while and young men had their way with you. It is unfortunate that you had sex with the same guy as your sister. Consider that a big mistake. You don't have to tell your husband that; he doesn't have to know that at all. What is in the past is in the past; keep it that way.

Do not allow anybody to force you to do missionary work. The good Lord has to call a person into that type of work. So whatever you are doing now, do it with all your heart. Evidently your brother-in-law enjoys what he is doing because he feels called to it. I wish everybody well.

Pastor